Rocket Man’s Doomed Failure…

So, our reclusive and secretive Asian neighbour has successfully failed to launch a rocket and its apparent weather ‘satellite’ into orbit, after a grand show by the new young Supreme Leader of their intent on, well, being able to launch rockets. 

Unhan-3 was to most of the world an UN-breaching Ballistic missile test, masquerading as a weather satellite, seen as part of their much longed desire to have the capabilities of delivering nuclear payloads to pretty much every other country.  Indeed if North Korea was a teenager, it would be one of those America grungy types that walk around in trench-coats, listening to Slipknot and slowly going mad inside their own mind as they concoct the best way to blow the heads off their more civilized and normal classmates.

The launch was supposed to fly into ‘polar-orbit’ down the west coast of the Korean peninsula, delivering the satellite and allowing those much sort after weather system feedbacks that could be reported to the rest of the North Korean population, you know, those who live without electricity.  It was supposedly to be a triumphant moment, celebrating the 100th anniversary of the birth of national founder Kim II-sung.

It ended though as many predicted.  A Spectacular Failure.

As Barack Obama said the day after:

“They have been trying to launch rockets now for over a decade…they don’t seem to be very good at it…they should maybe focus on feeding their people”.

What is different about this failure though, is that Pyongyang has taken an unusual step in confirming the failure of the mission.  Most announcements from this propaganda infected state focus on the country’s many successes and the usual praise for the ‘Great One’.

Yet amid detailed US, South Korean and Japanese reports of rocket debris falling from the rockets predicted path, Pyongyang has acknowledged things didn’t quite go as according to plan and have not delivered to the international community the usual BS.  That’s not to suggest that those inside North Korea have also heard this truth.  Most likely, they are now under the impression the rocket was a raving success, placed into orbit with the help and guidance of a mysterious crane like creature that lives in the clouds and nursed the rocket to eternal Korean glory in respect for the oh-holy one. 

That fact that they lap up this sort of dribble is testament to how great the North is at inventing this fantasy, Trueman Show like world for its population.

The North of course won’t give up until they achieve their ultimate goal of Nuclear Armageddon.  After revealing two rather hideous looking statues to the former Great Leaders, the news agencies observing their progress seem to suggest a third Nuclear device test is on the cards, so we can be assured of more aggressive developments to come and more finger-pointing and laughing moments.

If you are going to try to launch rogue rockets though, try to send something up that doesn’t look like a ten-year olds papier-mâché science project.

Remember you are friends with China.  China invented fireworks.  These are mini-rockets. China also makes big rockets.  Ask your friend how to make rockets in the future.

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2 thoughts on “Rocket Man’s Doomed Failure…

  1. I’ve read a news from Sina Weibo saying the late great leader of North Korea has left a posthumous paper saying that North Korea should keep developing nuclear weapons to become less dependent on China; North Korea should always keep an eye for this neighbor.
    BTW, do you really think that China is capable of independently designing and manufacturing its own rocket? Lol.

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